Leon Kennedy
by aig217
Summary: Leon's version of the'Marshal Mathers' song


(Leon)

You know I just don't get it

Last year I was cop

This year I'm killing monsters

Now everybody wants to come around like I owe em somethin

Heh, the fuck you want from me, ten shots at the face?

Get the fuck out of here

(Chorus One: Leon)

You see I'm, just Leon Kennedy(Leon Kennedy)

I'm just a regular cop,

I don't know why all the fuss about me (fuss about me)

Nobody ever gave a fuck before,

all they did was shot me (did was shot me)

Now everybody wanna run they mouth

and try to take shots at me (take shots at me)

Yo, you might see me shooting, you might see me Killin

You might see me killing a fukin monster

with it's head fucked up in the rain with a giant fist

shottin at him cause the son of a bitch won't quit growling

(grrrr) Or leanin out a window, with a cocked shotgun

Drivin up the block in the car that they shot Barry in

Lookin for Big's killers, dressed in ridiculous

blue and red like I don't see what the big deal is

Double barrel twelve gauge bigger than Chris Redfield

Pissed off, cause Brad & Barry just missed all this

Watchin all these cheap imitations get rich off 'em

and get dollars that shoulda been there's like they switched wallets

And amidst all this Crist' poppin and wristwatches

I had to sit back and just watch and just get nauseous

and walk around with an empty bottle of Remi Martin

startin shit like some 26-year-old skinny Steve Burnside ("God damnit!")

I'm anti-UMBRELLA and Wesker

with instincts to kill Saddler, don't get me started

These fuckin brats can't sing and Britney's garbage

What's this bitch retarded? Gimme back my Shotgun

All I see is sissies in magazines smiling

Whatever happened to whylin out and bein violent?

Whatever happened to catchin a good-ol' fashioned

passionate ass-whoopin and gettin your shoes coat and your hat tooken?

New Kids on the Block, sucked a lot of dick

Boy/girl groups make me sick

And I can't wait 'til I catch all you faggots in public

I'ma love it.. (hahaha)

Jill don't like me (uh-uh)

Said some shit in Vibe to spite me (yup)

Then went and dyed her hair just like me (hehe)

A bunch of little kids wanna swear just like me

and run around screamin, "I don't care, just bite me" (nah nah)

I think I was put here to annoy the world

and destroy your little 4-year-old boy or girl

Plus I was put here to put fear in ganados who spray Fresh Blood on their face

and call themselves "People" cause they look queer

Dr. Salvador & Cammandos

Claimin Spain, when y'all live two-hundredmiles away (fuckin punks)

And I don't wrestle, I'll shoot you fuckin faggots the fuck out

Ask 'em about the club they was at when they snuck out

after they ducked out the back when they saw us and bugged out

(AHHH!) Ducked down and got paintballs shot at they truck, blaow!

Look at y'all runnin your mouth again

when you ain't seen a fuckin Mile Road, South of 10

And I don't need help, from S.T.A.R.S., to beat up two females

in make-up, who may try to scratch me with Claire Redfield

"Scott Anus," you damn right, Scott Anus

I don't get fucked in mine like you two little flaming faggots!

(Chorus Two: Leon)

Cause I'm, just Leon Kennedy (Leon Kennedy)

I'm not a regular cop,

I'll knock you out if you try to kill me (try to kill me)

Come and see me on the streets alone

if you assholes doubt me (assholes doubt me)

And if you wanna run your mouth

then come take your best shot at me (your best shot at me)

(Leon)

Is it because you love me that y'all expect so much of me?

You little groupie bitch, get off me, go fuck Birkin

Now because of this blonde cop that's on top

and this fucked up head that I've got, I've gone pop?

The underground just spunned around and did a 360

Now these kids diss me and act like some big sissies

"Oh, he just did some shit with Missy,

so now he thinks he's too big to do some shit with MC Get-Bizzy"

My fuckin bitch mom's suin for ten million

She must want a dollar for every pill I've been stealin

Shit, where the fuck you think I picked up the habit?

All I had to do was go in her room and lift up her mattress

Which is it bitch, Mrs. Redfield or Ms. Kennedy?

It doesn't matter your (attorney Carlso Oliveira a( faggot!

Talkin about I fabricated my past

He's just aggravated I won't ejaculate in his ass (Uhh!)

So tell me, what the hell is a fella to do?

For every million I make, another relative sues

Family fightin and fussin over who wants to invite me to supper

All the sudden, I got 90 some cousins (Hey it's me!)

A half-brother and sister who never seen me

or even bothered to call me until they saw me on TV

Now everybody's so happy and proud

I'm finally allowed to step foot in my girlfriend's house

Hey-hey! And then to top it off, I walked to the newsstand

to buy this cheap-ass little magazine with a food stamp

Skipped to the last page, flipped right fast

and what do I see? A picture of my big white ass

Okay, let me give you motherfuckers some help:

uhh, here - DOUBLE XL, DOUBLE XL

Now your magazine shouldn't have so much trouble to sell

Ahh fuck it, I'll even buy a couple myself

Chorus One (2X)


End file.
